Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic used by various abusive personalities to embed doubt in their victim’s mind. The tactic is so devastating because it causes the victim to question his or her reality, judgment, or memory. The following is some information about gaslighting so that you’ll know what it is for sure.
What Is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting is an abusive tactic that calls the victim’s sanity into question. It is a vile tactic when used because it’s a double shot. The gaslighting victim experiences the original abuse and then suffers again when the abuser invalidates the incident.
Some common words a gaslighter says after abusing someone are:
- “Are you sure it isn’t just in your head?”
- “It didn’t happen that way.”
- “That never happened.”
- “I think your memory isn’t what it used to be.”
- “You’re too sensitive.”
- “You’re a headcase” or “You’re crazy.”
The whole point is to make the victim believe he or she overreacted, didn’t experience the incident, or has a mental illness that makes the person “get upset for no reason.” The abuser knows very well what they did, but they would rather try to force-feed the victim a lie than to admit or repent of any wrongdoing.
Who Are Common Gaslighting Victims?
Anyone can be a gaslighting victim, and any person can gaslight. Most toxic relationships involve some level of gaslighting. However, organizations such as employers, churches, and school systems can also gaslight.
Signs Someone Is Gaslighting You
You will experience several signs if someone is gaslighting you. These are some indicators for you to consider:
You Keep Questioning Yourself
Gaslighting can take a huge toll on a person who experiences it a lot. Thus, you may start to question yourself if someone gaslights you enough. You may wonder if things happened the way you think they did or if you “misunderstood,” as gaslighters often say.
You Feel Gutted
Another sign that you are being gaslighted is a feeling like someone is gutting you. You’ll likely get this feeling as the person gaslights you because you’ll know something is wrong deep down inside. You’ll feel eerie, like someone is violating you, because that’s what happens when gaslighting occurs.
The Other Person Keeps Insulting You
People who gaslight are usually abusive personalities. Thus, they might mix other tactics with gaslighting attempts. For example, a gaslighter might hurl insults at you while attempting to make you believe things didn’t happen the way you know and believe. The name-calling usually consists of mental health slurs and bad memory accusations.
What To Do if You Believe You’re Being Gaslighted
There is healing and help for gasligthing experience. The first step toward it needs to come from you, however. You must find a specialist who can help you cope and reclaim your life. It’s vital that you speak to someone who can counsel and comfort you if you’ve experienced gaslighting in your relationships.
Cornell & Associates Marriage and Family Therapy can help you work through the trauma of gaslighting and heal from the pain and confusion. You can schedule an appointment with a provider there after completing a short intake form.
